It was a while ago when I blogged about this story that made me angry. I wrote the happy follow-up a couple of weeks after but for some reason never got around to posting it.
Here is what I was going to publish, under the title “Rasha is my Hero”
Recap: Saba is a pretty girl in 8th grade (older than her classmates because she flunked a class and then missed another because she had some family issues). She got into one of those “phone relationships” with a slightly older boy who keeps hanging out around the school. Her brother – her half brother actually, who was living in another country for 18 years and who only became part of his mom’s family a year and a half ago, decided he would be the one with authority over his half sister, Saba. Three weeks ago, when he found out she’s talking to this boy, he told her that she will not be allowed to go to school anymore, and locked her up at home. Her friends tried to talk to him, other people tried to talk to him, but he wouldn’t yield. He said “No more school for Saba”.
Rasha:
Rasha is the loudest girl in class. She’s dynamic and funny, but could be annoying in that she doesn’t know how to listen and when in a group doesn’t know how to give other girls a chance. Teachers complain that she’s the source of noise and chaos, but they also seem to depend on her when they need help (because she volunteers first). She’s with the scouts, loves football (soccer), and complains that her mom doesn’t let her play in the street anymore.
After the third week of Saba’s absence from school, and after her close friends failed in changing her brother’s mind, Rasha went up to Saba’s house and started telling the authoritarian brother that his sister really is a good girl, and that he shouldn’t ruin her future by taking away her right to learn. She talked and talked and talked, addressing the 19-year-old as “3ammo” (which means, Uncle. Arabs call every older strange man “uncle”). I could imagine Rasha talking fast like she always does, with her pushy approach that wouldn’t take “No” for an answer. She concluded by saying “I’m going to come tomorrow morning to take her to school and I hope you won’t let me down”.
The next day, Rasha went to Saba’s place first thing in the morning, stood at the door, and said to her brother “I’m not moving unless Saba comes to school with me”.
And it worked. The brother called out to Saba, telling her to get dressed and ready for school.
That day when I saw Saba at school, we had a long heart-to-heart discussion after class, and she told me how her brother’s friend is interested in her and had told her brother he wants to propose to her. Her brother was completely for it, and she said that she actually liked the guy and was attracted to him.
What I said was, he might be a very good guy, you might be happy marrying him, but whatever you do… DO NOT LEAVE SCHOOL AT AGE 15 TO GET MARRIED!! I told her that while school might seem utterly useless, it’s the key to more choices for her future. I tried to get it into her 15-year-old mind that getting an education and learning skills helps you improve your life and change your reality. I said a lot of things, we talked for 45 minutes… she listened and responded and shared things, and then gave me a big hug and went back into class.
Later that evening she called me, and said that her mom wanted to talk to me. Her mom was brief and courteous and said that her daughter was telling her a lot about our Injaz class, and that she would like to meet me one of those days.
When I hung up I had a smile on my face and I was feeling positive.
Today…
I walked into class, and the first bit of news the girls gave me was:
“Miss, guess what! Saba left school… it was her choice this time… she got engaged… she’s not coming back”
Here is what I was going to publish, under the title “Rasha is my Hero”
Recap: Saba is a pretty girl in 8th grade (older than her classmates because she flunked a class and then missed another because she had some family issues). She got into one of those “phone relationships” with a slightly older boy who keeps hanging out around the school. Her brother – her half brother actually, who was living in another country for 18 years and who only became part of his mom’s family a year and a half ago, decided he would be the one with authority over his half sister, Saba. Three weeks ago, when he found out she’s talking to this boy, he told her that she will not be allowed to go to school anymore, and locked her up at home. Her friends tried to talk to him, other people tried to talk to him, but he wouldn’t yield. He said “No more school for Saba”.
Rasha:
Rasha is the loudest girl in class. She’s dynamic and funny, but could be annoying in that she doesn’t know how to listen and when in a group doesn’t know how to give other girls a chance. Teachers complain that she’s the source of noise and chaos, but they also seem to depend on her when they need help (because she volunteers first). She’s with the scouts, loves football (soccer), and complains that her mom doesn’t let her play in the street anymore.
After the third week of Saba’s absence from school, and after her close friends failed in changing her brother’s mind, Rasha went up to Saba’s house and started telling the authoritarian brother that his sister really is a good girl, and that he shouldn’t ruin her future by taking away her right to learn. She talked and talked and talked, addressing the 19-year-old as “3ammo” (which means, Uncle. Arabs call every older strange man “uncle”). I could imagine Rasha talking fast like she always does, with her pushy approach that wouldn’t take “No” for an answer. She concluded by saying “I’m going to come tomorrow morning to take her to school and I hope you won’t let me down”.
The next day, Rasha went to Saba’s place first thing in the morning, stood at the door, and said to her brother “I’m not moving unless Saba comes to school with me”.
And it worked. The brother called out to Saba, telling her to get dressed and ready for school.
That day when I saw Saba at school, we had a long heart-to-heart discussion after class, and she told me how her brother’s friend is interested in her and had told her brother he wants to propose to her. Her brother was completely for it, and she said that she actually liked the guy and was attracted to him.
What I said was, he might be a very good guy, you might be happy marrying him, but whatever you do… DO NOT LEAVE SCHOOL AT AGE 15 TO GET MARRIED!! I told her that while school might seem utterly useless, it’s the key to more choices for her future. I tried to get it into her 15-year-old mind that getting an education and learning skills helps you improve your life and change your reality. I said a lot of things, we talked for 45 minutes… she listened and responded and shared things, and then gave me a big hug and went back into class.
Later that evening she called me, and said that her mom wanted to talk to me. Her mom was brief and courteous and said that her daughter was telling her a lot about our Injaz class, and that she would like to meet me one of those days.
When I hung up I had a smile on my face and I was feeling positive.
Today…
I walked into class, and the first bit of news the girls gave me was:
“Miss, guess what! Saba left school… it was her choice this time… she got engaged… she’s not coming back”
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