So many thoughts and emotions to share… I only managed to get a few hours of sleep last night, and I spent the early morning hours reading comments and analysis on the tragic bombings, reflecting, writing, and responding to emails… never in my life would I have imagined that I'd have to send an email from Amman to friends abroad saying "don't worry; my family, friends, and myself are all ok"…
But are we ok? Perhaps it coincided that none of our friends or relatives had a wedding at the Radisson SAS, the Hyatt, or the Days INN… it coincided that we were at home going about our daily business one quiet Wednesday evening in Amman, while operation Steel Curtain was inflicting massive destruction in the West of Iraq, political turmoil was close to tipping point in Syria, and violence and suffering continued in Palestine and Israel… Domestically, the vast majority were almost apathetic to changes and political developments, with the controversy surrounding the National Agenda and the rumors about change in the government or the Parliament. Winter was creeping in and people started feeling the impact of the rise in oil prices, which had been contributing to the government's low popularity. Meanwhile, we were also reading constant news about huge multi-million dollar investments being pumped into Amman and Aqaba, we were reading about international conferences taking place every week, feeling excited about Amman becoming such a center of attraction in the region, yet a bit skeptical about how the impact of this is reaching those with average and below-average incomes. Amman was becoming home to so many paradoxes… yet we loved Amman so much, and we wanted to share that love with the world.
So it was Wednesday evening, and I was sitting in front of the PC, reading posts by Abu Aardvark and Khalaf, and warming up my fingers before hitting the keyboard with three titles to blog about; a new restaurant in Amman that I absolutely loved, pictures from the UJ campus and enjoying a conversation on the green lawn, and then reflections from an interview with a Jordanian entrepreneur and a remarkably inspiring woman… I also wanted to talk about some of the amazing young people around whom I feel a surge of positive energy and who make me realize that I have every right to feel enthusiastic about Jordan and its future…
And then… there was breaking news!!
…
There was shock, sadness, anger, prayers… there was anxiety, there was silence… so many feelings we weren't prepared for and couldn't quite comprehend.
We took to the streets to protest this grotesque act against our dearly beloved capital… to tell the world that we are against terror and terrorists, that this is not Islam, that we are strong and that Jordan will be a mountain in the face of those who target its stability and security. I was a bit disturbed by some of what I saw in the protests; at one point I felt some people thought we're out celebrating Jordan's victory in a football tournament, other moments I was very upset by what some guys where shouting, at their insensitivity towards our Iraqi brothers… but all in all, it felt so good to be with everyone in the streets of Amman, as Roba described it, old and young, men and women, rich and poor, toddlers and children… I felt a sense of solidarity, I felt a wave of reassurance!
Today, three days after the massacre, I can't brush away the depression… I want those bricks in my chest to go away, but they're just getting heavier. I was out with friends this morning, and I needed to cry so bad but I didn't have any tears… I know that life will go on and that we will find resilience and strength, that we will continue to build Jordan with even more persistence, but I couldn't put up with the small talk and the pretence that nothing happened! I didn't want to hear about Batman Begins and about Fastlink's Z-line offer… and at the same time, I didn't want us to go into the repetitive discussions about the wedding tragedy and sharing the chain of people we know that leads to one of the victims… by no means am I saying that this is insignificant and that the human aspect isn't the most brutal and heart-breaking, but I was really hoping that we can get beyond the discourse about heart-break and talk about what this really means, for us, and for Jordan…
Let's not get over-emotional and idealistic and be in denial over some facts; I think Khalaf said it best in his post… and while we're at it, I will just link to some of the articles and opinions that I felt deserve some pondering, and pause with the writing…
Ayman Safadi's Editorial in Al-Ghad; "An issue of ideology, not security"
Abu Aardvark; First Thoughts, Arguing About Jordan
But are we ok? Perhaps it coincided that none of our friends or relatives had a wedding at the Radisson SAS, the Hyatt, or the Days INN… it coincided that we were at home going about our daily business one quiet Wednesday evening in Amman, while operation Steel Curtain was inflicting massive destruction in the West of Iraq, political turmoil was close to tipping point in Syria, and violence and suffering continued in Palestine and Israel… Domestically, the vast majority were almost apathetic to changes and political developments, with the controversy surrounding the National Agenda and the rumors about change in the government or the Parliament. Winter was creeping in and people started feeling the impact of the rise in oil prices, which had been contributing to the government's low popularity. Meanwhile, we were also reading constant news about huge multi-million dollar investments being pumped into Amman and Aqaba, we were reading about international conferences taking place every week, feeling excited about Amman becoming such a center of attraction in the region, yet a bit skeptical about how the impact of this is reaching those with average and below-average incomes. Amman was becoming home to so many paradoxes… yet we loved Amman so much, and we wanted to share that love with the world.
So it was Wednesday evening, and I was sitting in front of the PC, reading posts by Abu Aardvark and Khalaf, and warming up my fingers before hitting the keyboard with three titles to blog about; a new restaurant in Amman that I absolutely loved, pictures from the UJ campus and enjoying a conversation on the green lawn, and then reflections from an interview with a Jordanian entrepreneur and a remarkably inspiring woman… I also wanted to talk about some of the amazing young people around whom I feel a surge of positive energy and who make me realize that I have every right to feel enthusiastic about Jordan and its future…
And then… there was breaking news!!
…
There was shock, sadness, anger, prayers… there was anxiety, there was silence… so many feelings we weren't prepared for and couldn't quite comprehend.
We took to the streets to protest this grotesque act against our dearly beloved capital… to tell the world that we are against terror and terrorists, that this is not Islam, that we are strong and that Jordan will be a mountain in the face of those who target its stability and security. I was a bit disturbed by some of what I saw in the protests; at one point I felt some people thought we're out celebrating Jordan's victory in a football tournament, other moments I was very upset by what some guys where shouting, at their insensitivity towards our Iraqi brothers… but all in all, it felt so good to be with everyone in the streets of Amman, as Roba described it, old and young, men and women, rich and poor, toddlers and children… I felt a sense of solidarity, I felt a wave of reassurance!
Today, three days after the massacre, I can't brush away the depression… I want those bricks in my chest to go away, but they're just getting heavier. I was out with friends this morning, and I needed to cry so bad but I didn't have any tears… I know that life will go on and that we will find resilience and strength, that we will continue to build Jordan with even more persistence, but I couldn't put up with the small talk and the pretence that nothing happened! I didn't want to hear about Batman Begins and about Fastlink's Z-line offer… and at the same time, I didn't want us to go into the repetitive discussions about the wedding tragedy and sharing the chain of people we know that leads to one of the victims… by no means am I saying that this is insignificant and that the human aspect isn't the most brutal and heart-breaking, but I was really hoping that we can get beyond the discourse about heart-break and talk about what this really means, for us, and for Jordan…
Let's not get over-emotional and idealistic and be in denial over some facts; I think Khalaf said it best in his post… and while we're at it, I will just link to some of the articles and opinions that I felt deserve some pondering, and pause with the writing…
Ayman Safadi's Editorial in Al-Ghad; "An issue of ideology, not security"
Abu Aardvark; First Thoughts, Arguing About Jordan
LA Times, Jordan US Ties
The Guardian; Jordan reaps benefits - and pays a price
I'm tired of waxed speech and pretentiousness! I'm so afraid that in a couple of weeks many people will just fall back into their apathetic attitudes! Yet we as youth in a country like Jordan cannot afford to be apathetic towards politics and ignorant about what goes on, we cannot afford to be reactive!!
I've always been a believer in the transition Jordan is undergoing, and I choose to believe in the development we're trying to achieve, because really, what other choice do we have?
The Guardian; Jordan reaps benefits - and pays a price
I'm tired of waxed speech and pretentiousness! I'm so afraid that in a couple of weeks many people will just fall back into their apathetic attitudes! Yet we as youth in a country like Jordan cannot afford to be apathetic towards politics and ignorant about what goes on, we cannot afford to be reactive!!
I've always been a believer in the transition Jordan is undergoing, and I choose to believe in the development we're trying to achieve, because really, what other choice do we have?
I could write forever, but I will pause, and go light a candle… Better to light a candle than curse the darkness, isn't it?
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